Saturday, December 20, 2008

Insomnia Files: What's in a Name?

Here I am once again, only tonight I am not so much up late as I am up early. I still have hope of sleeping more tonight yet, though. I awoke two hours ago with the onset of a migraine, and by the time I got my special green pill and got it working, my mind was spinning once again.

Tonight I am thinking of baby names. We have had a first name for our coming baby since before she was conceived. We have been talking about her by name for years in fact... as if she were coming for a visit someday, or perhaps only waiting in the next room for someone to call her out to meet us. We are all excited to meet this familiar stranger.

But the second name has been a little problematic. I had a great idea years ago, but the closer we get to naming day it just doesn't feel like the right name.

More than the others, this pregnancy has been characterized by my growing awareness of how fragile life is. I have found several mommy blogs describing struggles with miscarriage, complicated pregnancy, congenital problems, and childhood cancers; but I have also been personally touched in the last few months by friends dealing with miscarriage, death of a child, childhood leukemia, and most recently a complicated premature birth with the outcome still not known.

If my last two pregnancies and current monitoring are any indication, we are on track to have a third healthy child. Why am I so fortunate? God has blessed this family more than I deserve, and I am only now starting to appreciate the scope of how much.

And so, I feel the need to acknowledge my gratitude as part of the name of this little lady. Something to indicate how blessed we are, how much of a miracle I understand her normal gestation to be.

I don't have an answer yet; it only came to me today (well yesterday for the purists who believe midnight...or 6am...marks the beginning of a new day). But it is notable that for the first time I have opened the door to ask God to place a name on my heart for this little one. I am sort of shyly looking forward to see what word he might speak to me as I wait expectantly. And that is what I will be resting in as I hopefully fall back to sleep for an hour before the kids start to stir.

The grass withers and the flowers fade; but the word of the Lord stands forever. Isaiah 40:8


  1. How tender to ask the Father to give you the middle name for your precious one. I, too, had three wonderful pregnancies with very minor issues. And my daughters were all born so healthy. I have also been seeing recently so many who have struggled with miscarriage or cancer. Truly makes you stop and give thanks.

    Blessings to you as you await your Father's answer. What a beautiful story to tell your daughter some day.

  2. This is beautiful. Do you have a name yet? I know God will whisper it to you when you least expect it. Perhaps when you are holding her in your arms.


Thanks for stopping by! I love hearing from you.