Wednesday, January 7, 2009


Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 1 Corinthians 9:24

I know I have posted about this before, perhaps because it is a constant theme for me. Discipline, quite simply, sucks. I hate even committing to new things, because I just know I am setting myself up for a moment in the future when I let myself and someone else down again. Every year when January 1 rolls around, I have to consider whether I want to ride the ride again, or simply acknowledge my failure and avoid joining up with those commitments that sound interesting to me.

As Boo Bear entered the world of school last year, I began my trek back toward a disciplined lifestyle. Getting up at the same time every day, making lunches every day, picking her up on time at the end of every day... all have been good at teaching me personal discipline once again.

I fail often at many things, but somehow I do manage to get her ready for school and then pick her up again at the end of the day each day. So I must count that as success even as the voice of the Taunter (my personal demon) continually whispers in my heart that I am a failure.

This year we added organized sports. She is on the swim team, which requires attendance at least twice a week. Trying to get dinner together and her there on time each night is really hard! But we (and I do mean we, because this is as much about my learning as hers) aren't quitting. She says she doesn't like it, but I so want her to experience success at learning the strokes!

After missing the entire month of December, we resumed on Monday. Then we went again Tuesday for good measure just to get back in the groove. We will hopefully also make it once more this week.

She gets really frustrated to be constantly asked to do something that is beyond her. I think it is good for her to just get in the lane and swim back and forth, even if she can't make her body do the strokes correctly yet. I just keep telling her that she doesn't have to be perfect, she only needs to keep trying.

Monday night the coach told me she has improved dramatically since September, just in her willingness to keep going. It's amazing how you don't see growth between a Monday and a Wednesday, but you can see it between September and January. I was so glad to hear of her attitude improvement. After all, my goal is not for her to be a future Olympian (although we can all fantasize), but for her to learn the art of discipline: of keeping going even when she does not want to; and of learning to do something she loves, well.

I hope to be able to say the same about myself in a few months. I realize this baby is going to come and totally destroy any effort I have made to build discipline, but I am so tired of living without it! So I am at least setting goals for myself.

Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 1 Corinthians 9:26

Spiritually, I intend to read some of God's word every day this year. My Daily Bible surfaced on January 4, so that's an easy commitment as far as commitments go in my world . But I also want to spend time just enjoying God. Meditating, connecting, reminding myself of why I follow Him in the first place.

Careerwise, I intend to work toward getting published this year.

In the kitchen, I intend to get my act together to help the Captain lose 50 pounds this year. And to help us get to swim practice on time every night.

With God's help, I hope to develop the self-discipline to accomplish these goals. Maybe Miss Boo will also learn to enjoy swimming.

1 comment:

  1. I am amazed everyday when I pick my son up on time from school. LOL.

    Love your goals and I am rooting for you to get published this year too!


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