Fairness Disclosure

Lest you think Justin is the worst offender of nighttime sleep disturbances in our bedroom (based on the last post), I feel compelled to tell on myself.

I'm a sleep talker. I did not know this about myself until I started college, when for the first time I had a roommate. If I were disturbed during early sleep, I would talk about any and every thing I was dreaming about, and have no recollection of it the next morning. On occasion I would have a sudden sense of danger, and would leap from my bed in an attempt to shield my roommate from harm. On those occasions I would wake up from the effort of trying to explain my actions. It all made so much sense until I tried to put it into words...

On one such occasion, I burst out laughing at the joke my roommate had pulled on me by putting smiley face stickers all over every square centimeter of my bunk bed. As I opened my eyes to thank her profusely (she was still studying at her desk), imagine my surprise to see not a single sticker. More, imagine her surprise at being so shockingly and randomly thanked for... nothing.

Another time, I jumped out of bed yelling at her to get out of her bed because... someone was about to dump a bucket full... of... snakes? all over her? What? I have no idea where that dream came from.

When we were first married, Justin began to get a taste of the adventure he had signed on for. One night I pulled the danger routine on him. I sat up suddenly and began tugging on his arm to get him out of bed. Alarmed, he asked what the problem was. I pointed at the ... lamp... or where it had been a moment ago... and waited in terror for the... cat... to jump? off it to attack Justin's head?? Wow, we laughed about that one for a long time. Still laughing ten years later, in fact.

Throughout the years, I have several times woken myself while trying to explain some urgent remark made to Justin, as he works on his computer before turning out the light. I am such a genius when I am asleep, I just can't get it to come out when I am awake! Other times he will ask if I remember telling him about something, in hopes that I will be able to share my dream; but to no avail.

The occasions have decreased in number over time, so one day I finally asked him if I was speaking to him less. He laughed and responded, "no, I just stopped asking what you are talking about, and you just go right back to sleep."

Which explains why, when I consciously roll over and ask him a question at that time of night, he completely ignores me.