Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Just Enough

From my journal for Tuesday, March 22.
  • Today I withdrew my daughter from public school.
  • Today I have an exquisite sore throat, the cap (I hope) on six weeks of sickness in our house.
  • Today I put the Captain on a plane for the rest of the week, for a last-minute business trip.
  • Today I needed to prepare for small group tomorrow night
  • Today I got up early to prepare my heart for all the day would hold -- only to fall back asleep on the sofa and oversleep regular start time by almost an hour.
It did not take very many minutes of today for me to realize I had nothing for it. I started at a deficit, and had no adrenaline with which to catch up.

And yet, at each step, I have been given just enough for the moment:
  • Teachers and administrators, while obviously curious, have simply complied with my every request for conferences and paperwork.
  • The pain of my sore throat has been lessened by taking a painkiller (go figure).
  • My complicated schedule worked out seamlessly. I even had time for a nap.
  • One friend offered to bring me lunch. Another sent words of encouragement. A third called and was available to pick up baby so I could focus on my meetings at school.
  • After anticipating four hours of reading and developing a discussion, I found study questions online. Boom, done.
  • And the final grace, I won a powerful time management App as part of a Twitter party.
Sometimes I feel as if the road stretches out ahead of me, with no discernible changes or challenges on the horizon.

More often, as today, I feel my way ahead through a dark maze. Today I especially sense the darkness, as I embark on a brand new journey of homeschooling while in the grip of sickness, without my primary support by my side.

I feel out of my depth.

But I think today also marks an occasion in which "let go and let God" seems entirely appropriate. I keep hearing myself mutter, "God, be enough in this moment, because I've got nothing."

Photo credit

And something causes me to stop and consider: Isn't this exactly where our Father wants us to stay all the time? All those times I think I see the road stretching straight out in front of me, those are not times of clarity; rather, they are times of illusion. None of us can truly see further than this moment, even on a good day.

I wonder how many missteps I would avoid if I could remember, at each moment, to wait for the light to show me the next step. What blessings might come my way if I acknowledge my God as the light for every step, not just the ones I question? 

So today, I pause and whisper, "Thank you." Thanks that I see more clearly than ever, because I have the presence to recognize I only need to see the next step. And God always gives me just enough light to see where to place my foot.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
Psalm 119:105


  1. VERY EXCITING! Will be watching and available for any questions / encouragement! AND - I am the co-founder of The Homeschool Village - so follow us on twitter @theHSVillage for encouragement and support too!!!


  2. Congratulations! Sounds like God is asking you to trust fully in Him ; ). Welcome to the homeschooling journey!!

  3. Welcome to the world of homeschooling! Keep following Him & it will go well.

  4. I don't know if I can encourage more than this post has encouraged me! Today I am sick with 3 sick kids, still trying to run a semblance of a school and prepare for a birthday party tomorrow. Deficit? I think so! How many times does God have to smack me up side the head for me to get this? So thanks for giving me another smack! And welcome to homeschooling!

  5. Krista, this post is awesome, real, and encouraging. I love this question: "What blessings might come my way if I acknowledge my God as the light for every step, not just the ones I question?" It's one I need to remind myself of regularly.

    Thank you for sharing your lessons with us! I'm praying for your homeschooling journey!


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