Adding Structure

As I told the Captain recently, I have reached a point in my non-stellar career as a wife and mom, in which I think of myself as a social misfit. Apparently I lack the skills to even manage myself.

So I hired him. He is, after all, a systems analyst.

We sat down the next morning and arduously worked out my schedule. Down to when I take a shower. The upside is, I felt incredibly validated that I do indeed have a lot going on. No wonder I never feel I come to the end of my job list. It's endless! But this list gives me permission to let things slide if they are not part of my task list for Today.

Last Saturday, as part of the new schedule, we implemented the first-ever family cleaning time. In less than 90 minutes, we had straightened and vacuumed both kids' rooms, put away toys and vacuumed living rooms up and downstairs, and cleaned bathrooms up and downstairs. Boo-yah!

At the end of that 90 minutes, we received a call from some dear friends that just moved to Austin, who wanted to come visit us for the afternoon. What a great reward for cleaning the house!

I'm glad we banged that cleaning out over the weekend, because since then I have been rather preoccupied between finding my favorite home-school reference book, and dealing with THE FLU. AAAUGH!!! I am not a fan of all the sickness and anxiety caused in this household over the last six weeks. Time for it to GO!

My reaction to the stress of having sick kids has also underscored another personal detail: We have enough children. No need to keep going, I'm pretty much maxed out emotionally with the ones we already have in play. So for those who keep asking and hinting, that's my answer. We are done. Is it my final answer? Probably. When will I have a final answer? About the time Lulu turns two. And there is your TMI for the day.

Going back to the home school reference, it was really neat to talk with our awesome friends from Austin, because they homeschool their son. I pulled out that reference book after they left, and was excited all over again about the possibilities of teaching Boo myself. Boo has been home sick all week, and I have really loved having her around so much.

In fact, she validated my entire existence the other night. Monday night, as she was falling asleep, she asked me: Mom, why are you so awesome?

What a great question coming from the kid I battle with constantly. As I have put structure back into my life, I have enjoyed intentionally spending more time with the kids. They are so much fun as long as I am not distracted to the point of constant irritation with them.

Being a mom takes everything I have, but it pays back in dividends.

I have a feeling this thought is disjointed, sort of like the way I feel today. Take what you can from it; I just thought you might like to know.

Daddy on the Scene

After 2.5 years of being on call 24/7 to what I think of as the computer mistresses, the Captain is officially done with his job that so effectively helped us make the transition to Texas. While we are very grateful for the role the company played in our personal story, and have made friends among that work family that will continue to be part of our lives, we are also glad to have him mentally, emotionally and physically back with us at home.


In fact, he will be home 100% of the time now, because his new commute will involve rolling out of bed, pouring himself some coffee, and climbing the stairs to his home office. I am actually hoping we can count a new coffeemaker as a business expense: what do you think?

As it turns out, he has about 10 days of a break here before starting his next job. Not surprisingly, he hardly knows what to do with himself. Fortunately, the kids have ideas. We are all having fun watching him unwind.

Oh, May I?

I have had enough sick around here to last awhile. After last weekend's intense experience, it took days before I could eat again. Boo had to have TWO rounds of the V-word, and now Rooster, Lulu, and their daddy all have runny noses. I am feeling very stuck in the moment.

The full force of this struck home the other day when Rooster came running into my room to ask me, "Mom, can I have some diarrhea?"

What?

After much laughing and a little bit of sleuthing, I figured out what he was talking about. He was asking for a fizzy sweet drink that comes in a green can. The kind mommy gives you when you have an upset tummy. You know, diarrhea.

Valentine Bug

Q: What's worse than helplessly watching your 1 year old infant barf her brains out, every 15 minutes for 3 1/2 hours?

A: Having your 4 year old son join in at the 3 hour mark and keep it up hourly for an additional 6 hours, while the other parent is out of town on business and your parents are spending their last night of vacation in your house. Knowing the miserable children are paying the price for your good deed in taking your mother-in-law treats two days ago during her bout with this bug. Losing your appetite after such an intense mommy experience, and waiting, just waiting for your turn, because you know there is very little chance of escaping after all the bodily fluids you have been exposed to during the very, very long night of wakefulness. Happy Valentine's Day, indeed.

Q: What's the saving grace in a situation like this?

A: The parents were in the house to lend extra hands and encouragement. They were able to drive a car to the airport in the morning and park it on their way out of town, because the Captain was coming in just a few short hours later; thus eliminating the need for two airport runs. The in-laws were able to bring supplies like pedialyte, lysol, and coffee to help us all return to normal and disinfect the house before the Captain showed up. And the Captain, despite a severe cold that has taken his voice just now, sent a very spent mommy to bed at 6pm while he put the kids to bed and cleaned up the kitchen for a fresh start today.

Oh, and Valentine's Day was not wrecked, because we had already celebrated with a special date night on the 5th, plus he gave me a bonus gift on Thursday before leaving on his trip. How awesome is that!

Today the sun is shining. There is still a possibility of getting my turn tonight or tomorrow, but for now everything is operating on normal. Boo is at school, Rooster at preschool. The voiceless Captain is at work with only two more days to go. Lulu is sleeping. I've got a mountain of laundry to tackle, and the simple job of clearing the kitchen counter of clutter. I can do this.

Happy Monday.

Different Kinds of Valentines

We celebrate love on Valentine's Day.

I love my husband. I love my children. And I could not tell you which one I love the most. I love them all the most, but each in a different way. I love lots of other people too (not to mention my Creator), but that's a whole other story.

For obvious reasons, the Captain is my True Love, my anchor, and I love him with all my heart.


Then there is Boo Bear, my first born and capturer of my heart. I wasn't sure about her, and the road of her development started out challenging and has remained so. But she was First. And I have grown to love her with an earned love. I value that love more highly than a flowery emotional love. She is a fighter, full of initiative and strength. I don't always understand those qualities, but I love her for having them. Boo is awesome just the way she is.


As for the Rooster, well, I wasn't sure about him either. I thought I wanted another girl, so I waited until the delivery room to find out what we were getting. I wanted those four extra months of hope, even though Boo adamantly referred to my swollen belly as "her brother." Then when he was born, the rush of hormones took away any scrap of care I had about whether he even had 10 fingers and 10 toes: he was mine. And I loved him fiercely. He is a sturdy, vivacious child, sometimes shy but able to handle the lovely love I hold for him.


And most recently, I fell in love with a little flower we call Lulu. She is the African Violet to the other children's bright sunflower and daisy. My love for her is full of awe at her delicate nature. I marvel at her gentle explorative touch. And I melt whenever she needs anything.


I consider myself lucky to have a heart full of such different kinds of love. I would miss something priceless if any one of them were missing. I'm glad to have them all for my valentines!

Happy Valentine's Day. May your life and your heart be full of many different loves.

S'bux to the Rescue

What was it Murphy said? Anything that can go wrong will, at the worst possible moment? This has been that kind of day. And it's only noon. But I'm not going to let it bother me, I am not!

As things started out, this is almost my parents' last day in town. And the Captain had to go on one final business trip (he's starting a new job in March), and it had to be over the weekend. Yes, Valentine's weekend. But that's ok, we rolled with it. The parentals are on their way to Waco to visit some friends, and they said their goodbyes to him before they left. Then I was able to drop the C. at the airport to pick up his rental car. Which makes for a nice quiet day!

Except...

This morning, my coffeemaker flat out died. I filled it with water, lined the basket with a filter, and measured in the grounds. However, as apparently no water could get pulled from the reservoir up to the basket, all I got was hot grounds. I make no representation that I have been diligent about using filtered water, or regularly cleaning the pot with a vinegar rinse. C'mon, I barely keep the floors clean.

As I worked on a fix, the "mechanism that opens the bottom of the filter basket to allow coffee to drip, while keeping it closed if there is no pot to catch it," burst apart. And would not go back together. It's done broke.

But I want to research before I buy. We saw an episode of "America's Test Kitchen" right after we got the coffeemaker, that told us how to evaluate whether it makes good coffee. Perfect coffee comes out of the dripper at 195 degrees, and at a speed of 7 minutes or less for a 12 cup pot.

We tested ours and guess what? It brews at 145 degrees, in about 20 minutes. That is approximately three times the length of my attention span. And I have hated it ever since.

So I rejoice today, for now I can justify getting a new one! But I want to get a good one, so I'm going to sacrifice for a few days until I know which one to get. Good thing there's a Starbucks at my local Kroger. And maybe I can borrow a maker for a couple days from my in-laws down the road.

Except...

I called the Captain's mom with this in my mind, only to discover that she has been sick all night! By the good fortune of my needing something from her, I was able to catch her in a moment of need (she doesn't ask for help much) and offer to bring her whatever she wanted from Kroger. It was no bother, because I was going there anyway for my rescue coffee, and already mentally planning a trip to her house in the country to look for an old coffeemaker in the garage.

I think about how this whole series of events came together, and reflect once again on the Lord's finesse. That dumb pot was going to die sooner or later, but he worked it so that I could be in the right spot to help one of the most giving people in my life. I think I was able to bless her, but wow, what a blessing to me to be able to bring Jello, Ginger Ale, and Saltines that visibly revived her. That gave me a nice warm sense of accomplishment, which is all the reward I need.

I didn't end up finding a coffeepot out at the ranch, but I did get my rescue coffee at S'bux. And my mom told me there's a way to use filters and hot water (and maybe some ropes and pulleys, I'm not sure) to drip some desperation coffee. She called it the "Billy Pot" method. I'm so intrigued, I'm going to wait a couple days to replace the pot, just for the fun of it.

If you have any recommendations, I'd love to hear about it. So far it's between the Cuisinart Brew Station and the Bunn, but I am open to suggestions at least through Sunday night.

Stand back, I'm a professional!

In the life of a writer (of this writer, at least), there are three payoff days for every successful job. First comes the day that your work is accepted. Later comes the day when your work is actually published. And finally, there is the day you receive payment.

I had three of the first kind of day last fall. It's a great feeling to know your work is worthy of publication, and the thrill of that brings enough momentum to continue pursuing other jobs.

I have seen my work published once so far, in an online format. Also a thrill, that urged me back into pursuing work. I currently have one other article accepted for publication in an online format, and a third set to publish in print this May.

But in a year and a half of half-hearted trying, I had yet to see any financial reward for my work. That is, until today. I can now officially say that being a freelance writer pays more than being a stay at home mom. Or something like that.


As usual, this check arrived in God's perfect timing. It's just the carrot I need to fully emerge from the funk of the last three months, and buckle back down to working my craft. What a needed boost!

Hopefully I can get enough in the pipeline that my next payment arrives in less than another 18 months.